The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, making love carries enormous significance and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in effective sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, well-being, love, and nearness .

However when problems occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that numerous of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in metropolitan areas, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sex. Many gay men wish to learn from the starting if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is important. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance More Help your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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