The Sexuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex carries enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be good also).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective feelings of destination, enjoyment, love, nearness, and well-being .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly read the full info here with gay men, says that a number of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in city areas, sex is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sex. If a prospective click for info partner is going to be sexually compatible, many gay men desire to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North adds, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, goals, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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