The Sensuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to extremely hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, love, nearness, and wellness .

But when issues arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that much of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in urban areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?". article

However, North includes, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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